Where opinions are ferocious and weird
I’m going to tell you about a miracle.
An ordinary person flips an ordinary coin a hundred times in a row and the coin lands on heads each time.
No trick person, no trick coin, no trick situation.
Continue reading “When a Miracle isn’t Actually a Miracle”
Here’s a quick and easy way to look at your relationships: Check your System.
Always have a sense of where the energy’s going in a relationship.
That’s the one-sentence takeaway.
Continue reading “Check Your System Levels!”
One of the hardest writing lessons I ever learned was also one of the most amazing lessons I ever learned, and it was in two parts.
Continue reading “Stand up for structure!”One of the fundamental dynamics of any romantic relationship is this:
Where responsibility is uncoupled from control, nothing but mischief can happen.
Continue reading “With great power…”Food containers can be so puzzling…
For example, honey in plastic bears teaches me that if I turn a bear upside down and squeeze really hard, sweet goo comes out.
Continue reading “Fresh Bear Squeezin’s!”
Been thinking a lot about apologies. Came up in some conversations. In particular, what makes an effective apology to a partner.
Continue reading “Handling the “whoopsie-doodle!””
They say giant bug movies are unrealistic for reasons of biology and physics. Okay, I’m cool with that.
I’ve watched many giant bug movies, including Them, of course, and I’ve been thinking about giant ants.
Because if you aren’t thinking about giant ants, then you aren’t thinking hard.
Continue reading “Just a little aside for you entomologists…”
A review of Samuel R. Delaney’s book Dhalgren.
I have read this book many times in my life.
Continue reading “A man with no name”
I wonder if there’s a certain point in time in our lives when we stop adding new things to our brains.
I think about it this way – from the moment we’re born to a certain point, we are constantly cramming things into our brain. We are learning language and social interaction and mathematics and how peek-a-boo is a brutal assault upon our souls.
Continue reading “The opposite of “backward” is “forward.””
A review of Jonathan Moon’s book Stories to Poke Your Eyes Out.
Sometimes I read a collection of short stories and it feels like a roller coaster ride that I’ve been on before. I know the twists and turns, and I can anticipate each one. I have a great time. When I’m done, I feel lighter in my feet.
Continue reading “A certain beautiful brutality”
**A review of Bruce Taylor’s book Edward: Dancing on the Edge of Infinity**
There are two aspects to Edward: Dancing on the Edge of Infinity. They are very different aspects, but I love both.
Continue reading “Clever, beautiful, and heartbreaking at times”
**A review of Lisa Deeter’s CD Just Comparing Notes.**
I was surprised by Deeter’s album Just Comparing Notes.
Continue reading “An amusement park for grown-ups.”A review of Noel Figart’s book At the Foot of the Throne.
I enjoyed At the Foot of the Throne.
That might seem a somewhat simple statement to make, but please let me clarify.
Continue reading “It navigates tricky waters very well!”A review of J. T. O’Connor and J. Walt Layne’s book The Coming Of T’Loal.
O’Connor and Layne remind us that some of the trickiest bits of Lovecraftian horror aren’t the monsters or the rubber suits or the excess use of liquid latex on set.
Continue reading “A fun tour through a Lovecraftian minefield!”
A review of Unknown Music from Dream Quest of Kadath.
Continue reading “A haunting accompaniment”
**A review of Stan Ridgway’s CD Partyball.**
Continue reading “Welcome to America!”
I suspect a lot of people would be a lot less outraged if they considered two possibilities Very Seriously before they opened their mouths or acted:
Continue reading “Plan or Perish”
I’ve been experimenting with the word “creepy” and what it means.1
Continue reading ““Creepy, doll.””
I have always known that people have interfaces. People have ways in which they model their interaction with the Universe around them. Sometimes it is their language, they way in which they speak to each other. Sometimes it is their body movements, they way in which they hold themselves. Sometimes it is via the rules of their custom, the way in which they were raised. Sometimes it is the way in which a lover or friend taught them. Sometimes they pick it up from a book, or a magazine, or a pamphlet, or a piece of nearly random graffiti half-glimpsed through a train window.
Continue reading “Interface Clash”
Welcome to my half-assed manifesto. It’s a bit of a map of how I got to where I am, which is a place I happen to like. There’s an extremely slim chance you might find something interesting in here, which is one of the reasons I’m posting it online.
Continue reading “The Simple Guide to Relationships… or Why Love is Simpler Than You Think”
First, let’s get one thing straight. I call this The Dumbass Trifecta because I’m very hard on myself. If I engage in this behavior – in any element of it – I’m being a dumbass. I don’t care what you call it. Call it whatever you like. Call it “The Unfortunate Triangle.” Whatever it takes. Just read and see it and take note of it and please do your best to not let it ruin precious things for you. Don’t let the name of my container interfere with the message. Or, go ahead and use the name. After all, it helps me, so maybe it’ll help you.
Continue reading “The Dumbass Trifecta”
The problem with love is this: love is wonderful, beautiful, terrifying, debilitating, painful, glorious, and a joy.
The reason that’s such a problem is because people often mistake wonderful things, beautiful things, terrifying things, debilitating things, painful things, glorious things, and joyful things for love.
That’s the problem.
Fixing things is tough. Fixing social things is especially tough. People are dynamical meat systems, and capable of nearly anything.
Continue reading “The Fix Is In.”
There is a value. It is a numerical value.
It is the number of children who have been abused. It is the number of incidents of an organization covering it up. It is the number of times a priest has been moved to a parish to avoid dealing with pedophilia. It is the number of times a priest who tries to stop these incidents or begs the Vatican to stop and change their course is told to shut the hell up and pray and reflect upon what they are trying to do. It is the number of times people are willing to look the other way before they can no longer look the other way.
Continue reading ““It’s a PR problem” is the problem.”
I was joking around in another thread in response to “If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants,” attributed to Sir Isaac Newton.
Continue reading “Let There Be Giants”
Phantom-fighting is all the rage.
Continue reading “Phantom-fighting”
I have seen too many people get screwed by being unable to communicate (myself included). The usual pattern of events ends in something that can best be summarized by “I didn’t know what was going on.” Now me, I hate being ignorant, so I started taking a look at social interactions, with an eye toward simplifying.
Continue reading “How to Communicate”
It feels as if there’s an inverse relationship between a group’s claim at the efficacy of their self-policing and the actual ability for them to self-police.
Continue reading “We all need mirrors”
Power consolidation combined with opaqueness is the perfect hiding place for scoundrels.
Continue reading “Power is a great fertilizer.”
I think one of the greatest personal conflicts any of us has to face – and we do so on a regular basis – is the conflict between what we observe, and what we wish we would be observing.
Continue reading ““But I thought you…””