One of the fundamental dynamics of any romantic relationship is this:

Where responsibility is uncoupled from control, nothing but mischief can happen.

In other words, if you want to exert control over a situation, you had best be prepared to be responsible for the exertion of that control of the situation,* lest you risk finding yourself living a lonely bitter life.

An example of this is stopping a difficult conversation. Sure, we all have the right to say “I can’t talk about that right now because of x,” but at that moment, we have taken control of the conversation and the issue it’s meant to address, which means that we are responsible for starting that conversation back up (or declaring it forever closed). Responsibility must be coupled with that control.

Conversely, be careful to not avoid responsibility by avoiding controlling your situation when need be. That path leads to the destruction of your soul.

Find a balance place, where you’re responsible for the things you want to control, and comfortable with releasing responsibility for the things you don’t want or need to control.

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