Welcome to the Petting Zoo

Step one…

Someone asked me if I had any advice for people who might be just starting out on a path that included multiple adult partners. Who knew? So, I gave it a go.

Treat people as you would want to be treated. Treat them as equals, as people who have lives and loves and passions and hobbies that are jus...

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The “Problem” With Love

The problem with love is this: love is wonderful, beautiful, terrifying, debilitating, painful, glorious, and a joy.

The reason that’s such a problem is because people often mistake wonderful things, beautiful things, terrifying things, debilitating things, painful things, glorious things, and j...

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It’s like The Drake Equation for sex!

I’ve known a lot of people who seem very unhappy because they keep forgetting one of the most important relationship facts ever.

It’s an idea that has totally saved my bacon:

There’s plenty of fish in the sea.

There have been times when I was struggling with a situation, struggling with a rela...

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Not the Sum of the Parts

There’s this sense that people are composed of discrete emotional elements that can be easily separated and encapsulated if need be.

When I write it that way, it seems pretty idiotic, but I see it time and time again.

Perhaps if I offered an example, it will become more recognizeable.

“I rea...

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Loss-Boosting

Remember that thing you missed out on, years ago, and how really awesome it was and what a bummer it is that you missed out on it? I suspect it wasn’t quite as sparkly as you remember.

We have a tendency to look at things in really weird ways. Some of them seem bizarrely contradictory. One of t...

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Anyone Can Learn to Cook

I did not learn to cook until I was quite definitely an adult. I took one Home-Ec class in grade school, but, having a penis, was mostly ignored, or asked to make pillows in the shape of footballs.

So learning how to cook was a bit of trial and error, but if I can do it, anyone can.

This was the...

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