The Top Ten Things to be Thankful for This Thanksgiving
- That no one in the family has a sense of taste.
- Firearms and their accessibility, even during a cold November.
- That the corn on the table hasn't been recycled.
- That the whole family doesn't want to use the hot tub at once.
- That the stuffing and the dog's barf are indistinguishable.
- That Uncle Tom and Aunt Mary didn't have noisy, messy sex on the coats this year.
- For every condom that didn't break.
- That your family doesn't expect to be entertained by your homemade porn videos.
- That all the truly wicked children have perished.
- That the turkey wasn't "glazed" by a repeat sex offender.
[Return to my Humor page ]
