"The Topless Ten" Archive

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The Top Ten Things You Didn't Know About Your New Partner

  1. You are not his first.
  2. She has had orgasms before.
  3. He's not wearing a backpack.
  4. Her husband's a Green Beret.
  5. His sexual fantasies about Gilligan are slowly taking precedence over his sexual fantasies about his mother.
  6. Her smack-shooting scars are hardly visible anymore.
  7. He keeps a laminated 8x10 photo of his ex-wife in his truck.
  8. She has an infection named after her.
  9. He's a fat-sucking vampire.
  10. Her dick's bigger than yours!

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