The Ten Best April Fool's Pranks to Play on Your Sweetie
- A Slice of the World at Your Doorstep
For every grocery store, there are a hundred magazines and for every magazine, there are four postage-paid subscription cards. Do the math yourself. In addition to a plethora of fine publications, your sweetie will be the proud recipient of anyone who buys subscription lists. Do this only if you and your sweetie live apart, of course... - The Entertainment Switcheroo
Tape the Thirtysomething marathon over his Bass Fishing Instructional video or, for you guys, dub Faces of Death III over her copy of Beaches. Swear innocence and then, the next time you're in a video store, suggest you rent the very same movie, then correct yourself, mentioning that you already have it on tape. - Pocket Prizes
Nobody ever carefully slides their hands down their own pockets. With rash abandon, people constantly shove their hands, feet, noses, whatever into their pockets and now you can take advantage of this blatant lack of caution by filling pants or jacket pockets with anything your keenly refined mind can come up with. Harmless things such as Gummi Worms, grapes, or pieces of meat are sweet. Depending on the status of the relationship, it may not matter that needles, pinkies (freshly born blind baby mice) or razor blades aren't so harmless. - What Price Redemption?
A large variety of evangelical organizations in this country would die for the chance to redeem the soul of your sweetie and with a carefully-controlled voice and the correct attitude, you can convince them that your sweetie's workplace is the best place to start. - Just Like a Soap Opera!
Have a friend at the local Vital Records office generate a birth certificate for you that has listed as your birth father the birth father of your latest partner. Make a gift of this certificate, framed, at your next date, declaring "Now we know why we have so much in common!" If your date balks at this, simply wave away his or her concerns by saying "It's okay, our family does this all the time!" Make animal noises. - Sticky Fingers
The wonderful thing about Superglue (and other cyanoacrylate-based adhesives) is that they take no time at all to entrap the unwary. The bad thing about them is that they have a very strong smell, so be sure to place the stuff in areas where either a person can't smell or perhaps doesn't want to. Feel free to experiment. For example, will Superglue still retain its adhesive qualities when mixed with Scope? - Driving While Impaired
Automobiles have many, many hidey-spots where raw meat or puddles of rich, delicious buttermilk can be left, especially if your victim has gone on a long vacation during a hot spell... - Deflector Shields Up!
Excellent for both boys and girls, the Saran-Wrap-across-the-toilet-seat is a time-honored favorite, especially if your sweetie is prone to semi-conscious three am bathroom trips. Don't forget to glue the toilet paper roll shut, too! - Meal of Mystery
Kitten food looks and tastes just like breakfast cereal, especially with enough sugar and a still-sleepy set of taste buds. If you're in a particularly vindictive mood, just remember how much a urinal cake coated with chocolate resembles a Ding-Dong. - Hot Sausage
Ladies, just a touch of cayenne pepper inside a condom should be enough to assure you the Queen Practical Joker of the Year Award, plus you have the added benefit of not having to put up with sexual advances for, oh, maybe ten months. This'll teach him to pull that April Fool's shit on you!
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