Nothing says I don't really love you like having a holiday one day a year to celebrate love. Like we're supposed to beat the living crap out of people the rest of the year?
The most obnoxious symbol of this feigned affection is those ubiquitous candy hearts. I thought I had left those behind in third or fourth grade, once we all started having those sorts of feelings.
Yup, seems our parents just love kids falling in love -- until the plumbing starts to really run. Then all of a sudden it's naughty. Who would have thunk it?
I've recently been given candy hearts and while I was trying to give myself diabetes, I happened to glance at the text.
It read "E-MAIL ME"
What the hell? Did fourth graders have e-mail? Okay, maybe lots of them do, but they don't need it, really, when they have handguns.
But I digress.
If these Next Gen hearts are meant for adults, then I decided it was time to make some hearts that truly reflected what adults thought and how they exchanged those soft words of love and passion.
When they weren't looking for loopholes in restraining orders, that is.
I hope it was as good for you as it was good for me.
(By the way, I made these hearts up myself, so don't rip 'em off)
Awards for this page
Ooh look, we gots us an award! Weird Site of the Day at Web WWWeirdness! Go visit and check out our dangerous contemporaries. I am particularly pleased that we can be found in Drawer 42.
