Possibly one of my favorite man-made artifacts. These letters, spelling "Aloha" and accompanied by a giant peace sign lay off the shore of a place called Place of Refuge. To give you a good idea of the scale, note that the letters are formed using big cinder blocks. The snorkeling there is pretty good and from what I understand, the diving is quite nice, too. The rocks at the shore form large steps which almost seem designed to allow easy access to the water. Except that sea urchins have made their little homes in holes in the rock, so if you're not careful where you put your hands, you can come home with a nasty surprise. Also, the waves wash up against the rocks, so if you're not alert, you can get a bit knocked around.
For that matter, if you're not alert, stay the heck out of the water, man!
I like this one. I call it "Homo Neoprenus" I adopted that term when I went out on a dive trip with Leopoldo and Katrina. They and several other divers kept talking about all the strange and exotic animals they found. So, as to not feel left out, I started talking about seeing a number of mature "homo neoprenus". This is how I deal with things. Like it or lump it.
On the left is Katrina, resplendent in her retropunk pink and black outfit. On the right is the stylish green and black Leopoldo, ready for an assault on the reef or to entertain dozens of guests in a high-fashion, high-rise apartment. Tea and crumpets, anyone?
Actually, they both need to have formal wear under their suits, so they can crawl up into the bad guy's yacht, take off the gear, and dance with the guests, all the time collecting secret information and preparing for an all-out fire-bombin' kind of assault on the compound of crazed cannibalistic religious mutants raised by the bad guy on a deserted island, poised to unleash upon an unsuspecting and terribly meaty world.
This is just me. Katrina took the picture with my hardy little underwater camera. It is a flattering picture, I assure you. My pose indicates my acceptance of the Universe, my white shorts indicate my purity of thought and action. While my blue slender fins say I'm a snorkeller of action, I'm still comfortable enough with my masculinity to enjoy the occasional pink snorkel.
Katrina says Mo-om! Edward's levitating again!
Enough of me. Next slide, please!
Leopoldo took this picture of Katrina, swooping around underwater. Man, to wear a thick rubber suit! A dream, a dream, but an attainable one, I imagine. Chicks really go for guys in thick rubber suits, let me tell you. It's not common knowledge, but it's still a good thing to keep in mind for those of you planning a tropical adventure and looking for a little excitement on the side. Nothing says "I love you" like Neoprene. And a Molotov cocktail.
But I digress...
I took this picture of a turtle, which was hauling ass away from some nosy divers (courtesy forbids me mentioning Leopoldo or Katrina's names. Whoops). For some reason, I wasn't totally seen, or at least I wasn't cared about. Perhaps it's because of my internal peaceful nature and the fact that I'm at one with the universe. Or maybe it's a coincidence that no predators wear white shorts, blue flippers and a pink snorkel. For that matter, I was ignored by any number of fish. Of course, I didn't have food to give em, so that's a good reason, too.
Fish like frozen peas, by the way, so if you feel like getting swarmed around by fish, just give peas a chance.
Katrina took this picture and says Yes, both the turtle and I were surprised.
About the turtle pictures, Leopoldo adds ...I would like to mention that we were swimming alongside these 5- to 7-foot guys for a while.
I had a pleasant turtle adventure while I was out on a dive boat with these two. I waited until after all the divers had dropped down below, perhaps to their watery graves, then I jumped in. With my cool prescription goggles, I could see the sea floor pretty clearly, but with my lame-ass lungs, I couldn't reach it, although I could get within, oh, fifteen feet of it. While I was paddling around, a turtle about 6 inches long came up to me. Of course, I had intelligently left my camera on the boat. This turtle was apparently fascinated by me (as was I by it) and for several revolutions, we swam around each other, just eyeballing. Eventually, the cute li'l critter dashed to the surface, gulped a batch of air and dove quickly to obscurity. Way cool.
Here's a hardy little moray eel, hiding in the coral. Katrina took this picture and says This is probably a Whitemouth Moray. His body snaked (eeled?) down through the Elkhorn Coral for about 8 feet
I've always figured Morays were one of those kinds of eels that you don't want to get near because if you do, they'll clamp on and never let go unless you pull them from their hole, cut off their heads, soak 'em in boiling water for thirty days, pray to the Eel God, sacrifice a lamb, point to the North and stand on your head. Maybe I was just raised wrong, but maybe these two are brave or crazy. Who knows?
I'll just steer clear of anything that looks like a sock puppet with teeth, thank you very much.
Here are a couple of pictures of a fish called a Moorish Idol. How can they tell each other apart, I wonder. I took one picture, Katrina took the other.
Katrina describes them as one of the most graceful looking Hawaiian reef fish.
I feel it's important to warn everyone that these fish, while they may appear graceful and beautiful, probably gather together in vicious gangs after hours, where they disguise themselves as groupers with masks and beat up hapless divers and other sea mammals, chanting out the fish-equivalent of "Call me graceful, huh? You feel that? That's 'graceful'. You like that? Do you?!" Angry little things, deeply repressed, which is evident in their bright colors, a pathetically transparent attempt to hide their inner rage.
Hiding deep in the bowels of the coral are these little shrimp dudes (there's one in the upper right corner of the picture). Each and every one of them is a potential mutant superhero -- they just need a little exposure to toxic chemicals or radioactive ooze or gamma rays or Kenneth Starr's private magazine collection.
Katrina says Shrimps and many reflecting eyes of shrimp. A cool site when diving at night. We think she took the picture.
Leopoldo says ...their little eyes reflect flashlights so when there are a bunch of 'em, you see a whole lot of illuminated little eyes.
According to Katrina, our carefree underwater photographer, Orangespine Unicorn Fish. Another neat looking fish, but Leopoldo adds ...them is big (if memory serves correct)
Generally, I try to avoid any fish with the word "spine" in its name, because it's sure to be something with deadly poison (after all, the French word for fish is really, really close to "poison") in it, which will invariably stab me, make me swell up like a balloon, and pop like Billy Barty beneath the fists of Mike Tyson. And that's unpleasant. To me, anyway.
I believe Katrina took this picture and says Yellow tang. Cute little guys often swam in small schools. The color contrast with the reef is quite striking
I've been looking at this guy for a while. I remember even when snorkeling that I'd see oodles of 'em all over and I tried to think of the evolutionary "thinking" behind a color so bright that they pop your eyeballs. It can't be like butterflies, which taste bad to birds, because there are no birds under water.
I finally decided that their coloration protects them by appealing to the predatory fish's intellect. Eater fish sees yellow tang and says "Hey, food! No, wait a minute. This was too easy. It's got to be a trap or something..." and in the confusion, yellow tang man gets away. Easy, huh?
Katrina took this picture and says I think this might be another sort of unicorn fish. My cheat-sheet doesn't list it.
Leopoldo adds Is that a parrot fish? If so they has got funny beaks on them. They run around crunchin' on coral and shitting it out as sand. While diving, I wondered how much of the sand below me came from a parrot fish
All of it, I say. Doesn't that make you want to spit it out even faster when you wipe out trying to surf and end up chewing the gritties?
Actually, I think it looks a lot like the unicorn fish above, but then, who am I?
I like these little guys. I saw a lot of them while I was snorkeling and they tended to move in packs, but loosely organized packs. They do an especially cool thing -- they bank as they swim over rocks, barrels, Titanic hull pieces, and other obstacles. It's weird.
When a school of these critters swims over something, they all bank at different angles and orientations, so it looks like a flutter of yellow leaves blowing by, each one a study in chaos.
Katrina took this picture and simply, cryptically, writes Foceps fish. What does it all mean?
Our final picture in this series is a surly little puffer fish. Katrina took the picture while Leopoldo attempted to get the wee beastie to puff up.
Katrina writes Stripebelly Puffer. He wouldn't puff for us. Methinks he's seen our kind before...
I can only imagine the undersea drama here, Leopoldo chasing this fast and spook-resistant fish around, while Katrina desperately jockeys to keep the camera where she can capture the Moment of Defense on film for all eternity. What thoughts must have been going through the heads of our intrepid adventurers...? I know what was going through mine: Hey, aren't those spines poisonous? What are you doing?
