Who are you?
August 8th, 2009 at 4:52 pm ()
You always have the ability to be who you want to be. You always have a choice. You always control that.
If you are faced with a decision about how to act, you can decide to act in any way you want, based on who you want to be. Do you want to be a person who responds in anger and retaliation? If so, that’s how you respond. Do you want to be a person who responds in a way to achieve a goal of increasing information? If so, that’s how you respond. Do you want to be a person who responds by avoiding the issue? Is so, that’s how you respond.
In games, there are situations where one must respond a certain way, such as during a check in chess. But that’s in the rarified world of games, and much less so a part of the real world. Here in the real world, you always have the ability to respond however you want, no matter how you feel.
This is a pretty powerful tool. You can be absolutely furious, yet your actual actions can be whatever you decide you want them to be. You can be overjoyed, yet your actual actions can be what you want them to be. you can be inconvenienced, grateful, terrified, frantic, whatever — yet still you have 100% control over how you respond.
The important thing is to remember that how you respond is based on who you want to be, and who you want to be has to be something you must have instant contact with. You have to keep your touchstones in sight, and always be able — no matter how emotionally charged you might be — to query that touchstone, to remember who you want to be, and to respond accordingly.
Conversely, your actions reflect who you want to be, so it is vitally important, if you’re not taking the time to craft your actions, to note what sort of “you” your actions are crafting in your absence.
At least it works wonders for me.