Without a cycle, there’s only… a drain.

Just a question today, but one that seems to not be asked as often as it should:

Why would one wish to associate or be involved with someone else who has clearly stated a desire against?

Once that line’s been drawn, doesn’t it just make a lot more sense to move on?

Don’t get me wrong — I understand that there’s always a little churn at the border, and sometimes our partners drive us nuts and we need a little break. I’m talking about the Big Picture, though, the place where we tell — or are told — that this relationship is Not Working Out, or Is Not Possible, and so forth. Once that fish has been lying on the table, no amount of perfumed rhetoric can cover the smell. Move on!

Next!


Back to the Master List of Essays

A permit to hurt

Do you ever find yourself in a situation where you’re taking crap from a partner that you wouldn’t take from a stranger?

Or where a partner is saying things about themselves that — if someone ELSE said about your partner, they might get, say, decked?

Or saying stuff about YOURSELF that if someone said about you would hurt your feelings? A lot?

How did it come about that we have personally lost so much self-value that it’s acceptable to be our own emotional punching bag?

Time to stop doing that.

Back to the Master List of Essays

Chances

I think it is important (although very difficult when it is most needed) to remember that life offers us chances all the time.

They may not be the chances we were hoping for. They may not be the chances we were expecting. But they ARE chances, and usually good ones.

It’s up to us, though, to actually see them. Sometimes we focus so much on what we lost that we miss the gifts rolling by constantly.

I have a few too many friends lately talking about missing their “chance” as if a chance is a precious golden thing that flitters by only once in life and then is gone forever. I can’t imagine anything further from the truth.

Next!


Back to the Master List of Essays

“Well, it sucked.”

There was a time not too long ago, when “It had great special effects” used to be an INSULT to a movie. It was a backhanded compliment at best. It was a not-so-secret way of letting people know that the best that could be said for a movie was that the special effects were great, but that otherwise, one ought not to bother anymore

What has made this such a joke nowadays is that “great special effects” actually IS a compliment now. People say it about a movie and they’re NOT snickering into their sleeve — they’re saying it with great earnestness as if this is truly an excellent reason to go see a movie. Or, rather, an excellent reason to pay $11 to wish people would shut the fuck up and stop texting so you can watch a movie in relative peace.

I’m still going to use this, though. I still think if a movie’s strongest point is “it has great special effects” then that movie probably sucks. If you’re reading this, and you hear me say that about a movie, you’ll know what I mean.

I am, however, going to add another insult to my movie vocabulary, lest people mistakenly conclude I am complimenting a movie. From now on, if I don’t feel like declaring a movie sucked, I’ll simply declare “I can’t wait for the remake.”

The fact that we NEED a word such as “remake” alone is indicative of a cultural asspit, but I think pre-emptively declaring that the remake will almost certainly be better (given the usual track record of remakes) delivers a significantly derisive snort to the movie.

You are welcome to use this as well. I think it’ll catch on.

Until it becomes a compliment.

Back to the Master List of Essays