Notes from the Petting Zoo

There are certain intrusions into life by machines that I think just aren’t going to fly with me.

I resent my microwave for cheerfully telling me “Enjoy your meal” when it’s done. How hard is it to say “Complete” or “Finished” or even “Done,” which has Great Comic Potential as a double entendre?

Considering that most of what I (and by “I”, I mean “we”) microwave is coffee, water, and other sub-meal content, I think the assumption that this is a meal is already stretching it.

And don’t get me started on things that aren’t even edible, such as CDs, plastic Army figurines, and puppies.

Darn machine’s just too uppity.

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I’m trying something new. I’m writing fortunes. I have no experience at this, and no Special Conduit to Supernatural Forces. I have simply pulled these outta my ass. I’ll also post other stuff, but for a few weeks, I’m going to try fortunes, too. But only for the weekdays. On the weekends, it’s up to you to make your own Fate.  Think of the weekends as A Great Mystery.

And hey, if I hit the nail on the head, please do post a testimonial!  That would be cool!

• MONDAY, December 29, 2008: If you can get her to laugh, it’ll be fine.
• TUESDAY, December 30, 2008: Change your password. Now.
• WEDNESDAY, December 31, 2008: Write it down anyway.
• THURSDAY, January 1, 2008: Go straight home after this.
• FRIDAY, January 2, 2008: It’s too soon, and that’s okay.

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You know those situations where you suddenly realize that you’ve been extending an enormous amount of energy trying to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you?

No one worth a damn judges you if you simply walk away from that psychic blender.

Staying longer certainly won’t help.

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