Having Your Cake and Eating it, Too
by Edward Martin III

"You can't have your cake and eat it, too!"

Why the hell not?

What idiot thought up such a phrase to apply it to something that was bad? Why the hell should I have cake if I can't eat it, too? I want pie and meat and potatoes and gravy. Am I supposed to sit and stare at a table full of food begging me to eat it like some kind of monastic self-flagellator?

I don't think so, Kemosabe. I make my own culinary choices, I'll have you know!

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